How to embrace your Facebook addiction
February 23, 2010
By Tiffany Xu
Facebook addictions are difficult to cure. Unless you’re about to resort to services such as Web 2.0 Suicide Machine (hand over your account information, say a few last words and watch your virtual profiles be erased within an hour), it’s time to fully embrace social networking.
Here are five tips for how to put your Facebook to better use. Who knows, they might temporarily alleviate your feelings of guilt and inadequacy as well.
1. Forget Doppelgänger Week and Favorite Pokémons. Start a new trend and show your political savvy by changing your profile picture to reflect the candidate you support (be it someone in the local, national or school government).
2. Statuses like “I should be asleep by now” and “FML” only add to your guilt. Instead, treat status as prime real estate for inspirational song lyrics and wise reflections about life. They will for sure reap dozens of “likes” and comments.
3. Become a hardcore activist! Now, you too can call yourself a humanitarian by helping end illiteracy and poverty in Third World countries, just by clicking “join group.”
4. Gain widespread Internet popularity through lobbying for events, such as “International Skip School Day” and “Talk Like Sarah Palin Day.”
5. Brush up your About Me section: Load on the impressive extracurricular activities and list all the classics you haven’t read. These days, admissions officers are roaming the site, too. Now, you’ll not only impress your peers, but also colleges.