How to protect your online privacy
April 24, 2012
By Jacob Brunette
In this day and age, everyone is connected to the Internet.
That means that everyone has some kind of personal information on the Web, and most of them will want to keep it private. This guide will give you a series of quick and easy steps that will let you create accounts for various websites while keeping your private life private.
1. Come up with a password. It should be easy to remember. (Example: encephalothapy)
2. Now, change all the e’s to 3’s, the o’s to 0’s, and the l’s to 1’s, and capitalize random letters. And type it backward. (Example: YpaHT01aHP3cN3)
3. This is your password. Don’t write it down, because if you do, someone could break into your house and log onto your Facebook account or something. You will have to memorize it.
Now that you have a password, it is time to fill out the remaining fields on the account creation screen. Let’s continue to the personal information section (name, address, etc.).
4. Whatever you do, do NOT enter your real name or address. This is the most common mistake in account creation.
5. Enter a fake name and address, but make sure they sound believable. (Example: John Johnson, 555 Fifth St., Fivetown, NV 55555)
6. This fake persona will have to stand up to scrutiny, should someone decide to investigate more closely. Forge tax returns and bank statements for your imaginary online person and break into the appropriate banks/government agencies in order to insert these fake records into their computer systems.
7. Do not get caught. (This is the second most common mistake in account creation.)
8. Return to your computer and finish creating your account. You’re done! Now simply repeat these eight easy steps for every account you need to create, and your online privacy is assured.