How to keep your New Year’s resolutions
January 14, 2014
By Jacob Brunette
NEW — 10:55 a.m. Jan. 14, 2014
— Try to remember the resolutions you made on New Year’s Eve. They were probably very ambitious, like “I will go to the gym four times a week,” or “I will stop procrastinating on my homework.” If, two weeks later, you’ve managed to keep any of these resolutions, then congratulations! You have a superpower. Everyone else, keep reading.
— Try to figure out what went wrong with the resolutions you didn’t keep. (Common problems: working out kind of sucks, doing homework kind of sucks, etc.)
— Realize that all your resolutions kind of suck.
— Radically lower your expectations for yourself. “Going to the gym four times a week” becomes “going for a walk, sometimes.” “Stop procrastinating on homework” becomes “stop procrastinating on homework except for when you really don’t want to do it.”
— Kind of accomplish these goals, when you feel like it, at least until you forget about them.
— Feel proud about keeping your New Year’s resolutions! You are a slightly different person than you were in 2013.