Social media profiles

April 21, 2014

By Sampurna Basu

NEW — 4:55 p.m. April 21, 2014

For most of us, social media facilities are the holy grail of our entertainment. Pressing the refresh buttons on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram and Pinterest on our various smartphones, laptops and tablets is a concerning addiction that we are perfectly content to acknowledge and live with.

Sampurna Basu Skyline High School

Sampurna Basu Skyline High School

And most of the time, this characteristic of our generation is criticized by those who view us as young whippersnappers. However, are we really to blame for the antics of our peers on these social media that makes these facilities so engrossing in the first place? I would like to outline some basic profiles of the average social media users we all see every time we hit that refresh button.

1. That person who is using the wrong form of social media. Thanks to the now very rich people who invented Facebook, Twitter, etc., to stalk other people, we can now engage in creeping in a variety of ways. One’s Twitter account is for updating minute details about one’s life such as if they are about to eat dinner, and 30 minutes later, if that dinner was satisfying. Those who post such statuses on Facebook are woefully uneducated in the etiquette of cyberspace. One’s Instagram is for pictures of significant moments of your daily life that could best be represented visually. Therefore, troll-like selfies are better suited for Snapchat, so only your poor friends have to witness all that.

2. The person who takes it too far and posts updates that are too controversial in nature. I mean, we get it, you are super passionate about the fact that you think Justin Bieber is against the Constitution. But starting a Facebook fight is a one-way ticket to high stress levels that have been proven to cause breakouts and slow metabolism. Just saying.

3. The person that is always “sad.” Yeah, we understand, but Facebook might not be the best place to talk about it. Make some friends, engage in personal messaging and leave the rest of your friend list out of the personal details of your life. If your response to this is that all your friends on Facebook are close personal acquaintances whom you genuinely trust with all your emotional trauma, obviously you’re wrong, because I still see said statuses and demonstrate little regard.

4. The person that complains about homework and then brags about what grade they got on said homework. Take all of that excitement and tell your mom.

If I hate all these people so much, shouldn’t I just delete all my social media accounts? The truth is that reading and judging these statuses is part of what makes the whole ordeal so interesting. So, stay obnoxious, my fellow students.



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