By Alex Tucker

Writing for The Beat this year has been an amazing experience.

When I first heard that The Issaquah Press was starting a teen section, I jumped at the chance to apply to be on the staff. I imagined it would be a great way to get involved with the community, meet people with interests similar to mine, and, most of all, write.

All of those things happened, and so much more I could have never foreseen. One notably profound experience was writing about the choking game. It is a topic I am very passionate about, especially because of the loss Issaquah High School experienced last year with Kevin Tork.

Writing and researching this issue was a very eye-opening experience and, though emotionally taxing, it was incredibly rewarding. I received a beautiful letter from Kevin Tork’s parents after the article was published, and knowing that my writing meant something to people so close to the topic was amazing.

I am so grateful for the opportunities I have had because of our teen page, and look forward to another year on The Beat staff!

Alex Tucker

There are many activities that high school students are told to abstain from. Teens are advised against smoking, doing drugs, skipping school and other destructive behaviors.

One dangerous trend that is not often covered, though, is a deadly activity teenagers have dubbed ‘the choking game.’

This is the practice of cutting off blood flow to the brain to achieve a natural high. The key is for the person to release pressure from their neck just before they pass out. But too many teens have died from not freeing themselves soon enough. This ‘game’ is often played with friends and, even more risky, alone.

This ‘game’ has been going on for many years, but the recent use of bonds such as ropes or ties has contributed to its growing fatality rate, in addition to more kids doing it alone. The organization Games Adolescents Shouldn’t Play, also known as G.A.S.P., estimates that between 250 and 1,000 teens die each year from the choking game, but statistics are hard to track, because many are reported as suicides.

A place that has experienced firsthand the deadly effects of the choking game is Issaquah High School. On March 30, 2009, the choking game took the life of Issaquah sophomore Kevin Tork. As a student with good grades and a dedication to learning, his death came as a shock to many students.

“I sat next to him in math, and when I came into school one day to find that he was gone, it just blew me away,” junior Hayley Vickers said. “It was very unexpected, because he was the last person I would ever think would go that way.”

Perhaps the most frightening part of this growing trend is easy access to instructions. Sites such as YouTube explain in detail how to play the choking game, and the lightheartedness shown in the videos only encourages teens to try it. The videos do not discuss the immense risk and danger of it; they only portray the choking game as being fun.

The choking game is not an activity to be taken lightly, and the consequences of participating in this immensely dangerous ‘game’ can be devastating.

Kevin Tork

Stepping onto the stage at Chimacum Middle School in Chimacum Oct. 13, Ken Tork took a deep breath and began saving lives by confronting a deadly game.

Students throughout the state, nation and the world are playing the choking game and Tork said he knows two things about it: That it’s not a game and that it has deadly consequences.

Tork, his wife Kathy, and 11-year-old daughter Kelly Tork know all too well the game’s deadly consequences. The couple lost their only son, Kevin, a 15-year-old sophomore at Issaquah High School, to the game March 30.

Kevin’s death is the reason Ken Tork was called to Chimacum. On Oct. 7, medics arrived to care for a student who’d passed out after being choked by a friend before a third-period class.

Students play the game to get a high, which occurs when their brains are deprived of blood and oxygen.Principal Whitney Meissner said she was shocked her students could make such a mistake.

“I was and continue to be disappointed at the lack of judgment on the part of the students. However, impulsivity is somewhat typical of adolescents, so we do need to anticipate that kids will do unexpected things,” she wrote in an e-mail. “I think that the more kids know about reality the better.“

A life cut short

Kevin Tork was a good son and an excellent student.

“He was like many of you. He liked to hang out with his friends, he was happy, high achieving – he had a 3.9 G.P.A, loved poetry, baseball and basketball,” Ken Tork told students. “This game doesn’t care where you’re from, who your family is, whether you’re male or female, rich or poor, or black or white.”

Kelly found Kevin in his room. He wasn’t breathing and was leaning forward with a bathrobe tie wrapped around his neck.

In the auditorium, frantic 911 calls from Kelly and Kathy were played for Chimacum students.

“You have to help me,” Kelly said on the tape. “I’m really scared and I’m only 11.”

Paramedics arrived and quickly moved took Kevin to Harborview Medical Center. During that ride, they had Kevin’s heart beating and he was breathing, Ken Tork said. But by the time they arrived, though, he was pronounced dead.

“I lost my best friend,” Ken Tork said.

Ending the choking game

“Since my son died, an additional 31 kids have died because of this,” Ken Tork told students. “There have been three just since this high school contacted me 12 days ago. The latest was this last Monday in Liverpool, England.”

The Tork family said they are determined to confront the game head on, exposing their deepest pain, in hopes of saving lives.

“It’s like a cancer that slowly spreads,” Kathy Tork said. “We want to be the antiviral.”

Students usually find out about the game from classmates, church friends, the Internet and older siblings, Ken Tork told the students.

Together, one child will choke another until they lose consciousness or faint. Alone, children use a restraint around their neck and tie it to a door or piece of furniture.

Cutting off blood flow and circulation of oxygen to the brain, and releasing pressure to let circulation rush back, causes the high feeling, said John Milne, an emergency physician at Swedish Medical Center in Issaquah.

“The long-term consequences can be a variety,” Milne said. “But they could end up with permanent motor dysfunction, personality changes, loss of memory and a whole spectrum of other types of responses.”

“You’re friends will tell you it’s safe, that you’ll just pass out,” Ken Tork said to the students. “Some people, when they wake up, are 2 years old. Imagine being 13 and not being able to feed yourself.”

The 31 deaths, he said, are the ones that have drawn media attention throughout the world, but he thinks the numbers are far greater.

Organizations like The Dangerous Adolescent Behavior Education Foundation, Tork said, estimate only 10 percent of choking game deaths have been accurately reported.

Because there aren’t systems in place for proper investigation or analysis, many families believe their sons or daughters committed suicide, he added.

Kevin’s death was listed as accidental by the King County Medical Examiner’s Office.

But the Torks haven’t been without their critics, they said.

People from youth suicide organizations doubt the game is responsible for so many teen deaths, and comments left on news Web sites have ranged from calling Kevin’s death part of Darwin’s natural selection process to questioning his death as a suicide, Ken and Kathy Tork said.

“There have been some that have crossed the line,” Ken Tork said. “But that’s OK. They are entitled to their opinion. I’ve buried my child. There’s not much that they can do, and if they are commenting, at least they’re thinking about it.”

Pushing forward

Through their presentations at local schools, youth groups and other service organizations, the Torks hope to end the choking game.

“I would love the chance to speak to my son’s school, and to his peers, and tell them that this doesn’t just affect them. It affects everyone around them,” he said.

The family has begun to heal, they said, through the speaking engagements, which include a PowerPoint presentation, and video clips of Kevin’s friends and family and his funeral. By keeping Kevin’s message alive, his death won’t be in vain, the family said.

“The vast majority of kids reported that they could not imagine doing this. In their middle school words, they said it was ‘stupid,’” Meissner wrote. “When kids come to that conclusion on their own, we have made an impact.”

The family’s spirituality has also helped them come together.

“We are stronger as a family, stronger in our faith and stronger as a community,” Ken Tork said. “We hug, we hold and we cry.”

This summer, they also took vacations.

“I have a clarity about every day. It’s almost like a fog has lifted,” Kathy Tork said. “It has really showed us how short life can be, to appreciate every day, whether it is a good day or a bad day.”

Common terms

The choking game

Pass-out game

Space monkey

Blacking out/blackout

What to know

87 percent of victims are male.

Most that died were between 11 and 16.

Nearly all who died were playing alone.

Deaths have occurred throughout the U.S.

Statistics

The Dangerous Adolescent Behavior Education Foundation estimates that 416 injuries or deaths have been related to the choking game since 1974, 35 of those from this year.

The Centers for Disease Control estimates at least 82 children, ages 6-19, have died as a result of the choking game between 1995 and 2007. But those results are limited to cases where the deaths produced some sort of media report.

Warning signs

Discussion of the game or its aliases

Bloodshot eyes

Marks on the neck

Wearing high-necked shirts

Disorientation after spending time alone

Increased and uncharacteristic irritability or hostility

Ropes, scarves, belts tied to bedroom furniture, doorknobs or found knotted on the floor

Unexplained presence of dog leashes, choke collars or bungee cords near a child’s room

Pinpoint-sized bleeding spots under the skin of the face, especially on the eyelids or the lining of the eyelids and eyes

Source: Centers for Disease Control

Long-term effects

Loss of consciousness

Coma

Seizures

Death of brain cells due to oxygen deprivation can cause memory loss and lack of coordination

Concussions

Broken bones, like the jaw, from falls

Hemorrhages of the eye

Learning disabilities

Attention and behavior disorders

Hostility

Where to get help

Centers for Disease Control: www.cdc.gov/Features/ChokingGame

For Kevin’s Sake: http://forkevinssake.wordpress.com/

The Dangerous Adolescent Behavior Education Foundation: chokinggame.net

Youth Suicide Prevention Program: www.yspp.org or call the crisis line 206-461-3222

Greg Farrar

“Hey Kevin, I am so glad to have had the chance to have you in my life. You were such a blessing to me and all those around you. You’ve been there for me through so much.”

That is just one of the many notes on cards and letters delivered to Ken, Kathy and Kelly Tork last month after Kevin, 15, their son and brother, died playing a “game” that’s not really a game at all, but a treacherous and risky activity known on the internet as the choking game.Reporter Chantelle Lusebrink and I visited the family for several hours for an interview and photos, which ran two weeks ago in The Press. Two stories and an information box gave a moving account of the family’s heartache and detailed information from multiple sources on the deadly dangers of this self-induced high.

However, regarding much of our work, one of the everyday frustrations is photos left unused or information left out for the lack of space on a newspaper page.

The Torks loaned us a number of sympathy cards and gave permission to print any comments we chose. They reveal how much Kevin was adored by his friends and teachers.

In writing and editing, it was necessary to leave a lot behind. But I was moved, and today I want to turn over the few hundred words I’m allotted every month to their comments:

-“He was like the old student that I never really had and I enjoyed getting to know him and getting a sense of his kind, outgoing, optimistic and giving spirit.”

-“Whenever we had a playing test in orchestra, he would congratulate me and everyone else with a high-five and kind words, even if we messed up. He made everybody feel special and always had a joke to share. He was probably the most considerate, selfless and kind person I have ever met.”

-“I was amazed at your son’s kindness to others, his sense of humor and his incredible talent on stage. It was fun to watch his performances at IMS Squak Valley Players’ events.”

-“Every year, my students write a hero essay. They can choose any hero — most choose athletes, musicians and fictional personages. Kevin wrote his hero essay about his parents. He truly looked up to you and wanted to make you proud.”

-“I was blessed to know you. Lucky to have you in my life. You touched my heart and permanently attached yourself to my soul. I will never forget you and all the good times. Thank you for touching my life and making it better. I love you.”

-“Kevin was having a tough time getting the bat on the ball that season… and then, on a beautiful spring day at Robinswood Park, it happened. It was the last inning, two outs, two players on base and the Mariners were losing. Kevin came up to bat. He hits that baseball and sends it flying out to right field. Everybody stood, cheered, and a few of us had to wipe away a tear. Kevin was the game hero!”

-“I will never forget the amazing poems Kevin read in class. Your talent will be sorely missed.”

-“You are so kind and care so much about everybody else. I will always remember you as a strong, creative, and beautiful person.”

Hopefully, you have gotten a sense of the kind of person Kevin Tork was. And if you’re young, hopefully you will listen to the warning Kevin paid his life to give you.

“Don’t do stupid things,” he’d say. “I avoided all of them religiously but one. Don’t get drunk. Don’t speed. Don’t use drugs. Don’t play deadly games. Your friends and family love you too much.”

Kevin Tork earned good grades in school and hung out with his friends. Most recently, he fell in love with poetry and had begun writing, completing six chapters in a book he called “The Mark.” 

But on March 30, Kevin’s life ended at age 15 while he was playing what is known as the choking game. 

Kathy Tork mourns the death of her 15-year-old son, Issaquah High School student Kevin. Kathy and husband Ken are certain he accidentally strangled himself while playing the choking game. By Greg Farrar

“I had gone to a staff meeting and called the house to tell the kids I was on my way,” his mother Kathy Tork said. “It was odd, but I didn’t think anything of it, only Kelly answered. Usually, they both pick up at the same time.”

After he didn’t pick up the phone, Kelly, 11, went to her brother’s room and found him slumped over with a bathrobe cord around his neck. She called her mother back.

“She said, ‘He is sitting in his bedroom and something is around his neck,’” Kathy Tork said of that frantic conversation. “I flew up Lakemont Boulevard faster than I should say.”

Kathy called 911 from her car and when she got home, medics were in Kevin’s room trying to revive him. They took him to Harborview Medical Center, where he was pronounced dead on arrival. 

“My world stopped at 6:37 p.m. March 30,” Kevin’s father Ken Tork said. “I lost my best friend.”

He was the type of child who would go out of his way to open doors for the elderly and would look to help anyone who needed it to brighten their day, his mother said. 

“When he was here at the house, he was this goofy kid,” his father added. “But when he walked out the door every day, he became this strong young man.”

Kevin’s memory lives on in the hearts of those he touched, his family said. Since his death, they have received dozens of letters and cards attesting to their son’s generosity and his impact on others.

At the King County Medical Examiner’s Office, investigators are still determining the cause of Kevin’s death, said Dr. Richard Harruff, chief medical examiner.

But the Torks are adamant their son’s death wasn’t a suicide and they said they have no doubt that Kevin died from the choking game. 

“He loved his sister. Why would he commit suicide while she was home, to have her find him?” Kathy Tork asked. “We know that’s not what happened. He left his homework half finished. He was going flying with his cousin on his birthday, and he was going to take his sister for a two and a half hour drive in his truck.

“He wasn’t unhappy. He was a normal kid who wasn’t into drugs or alcohol,” she said. “But this, we think he probably dabbled in this before.”

Kevin’s father said he is certain his son was involved with the choking game because of the way his body was found. 

“I don’t have to go through his computer history,” Ken Tork said. “Kevin was on YouTube all the time. I know he found it there.”

Rather than keeping their grief private, as some parents might do, the Torks have decided to educate themselves and go public, hoping to prevent other teens from making the same mistake their son made — especially, as summer break looms and students are left unsupervised, his mother said. 

“It is a tragic mistake, a fatal mistake, on Kevin’s part,” she said of his death.

One way parents can help their children is to block YouTube and talk to them about the dangers of the game, Ken Tork said. 

“My mission, ‘til my heart stops beating, is to make sure I save others,” Ken Tork said. “I can’t save my son, but I can save them.”

Reach Reporter Chantelle Lusebrink at 392-6434, ext. 241, or clusebrink@isspress.com. Comment on this article at www.issaquahpress.com. 

The game is sometimes practiced with other children at first, and some children choose to continue the practice on their own, according to the Centers for Disease Control. 

Together, one child will choke another until they lose consciousness or faint. Alone, children use a restraint around their neck and tie it to a door or piece of furniture. Pressure of a child’s weight against the restraint can cause him or her to lose consciousness. If he or she falls forward onto the restraint, death can be the result. 

In the game, children are self-inducing a stroke, Milne said.

“The long-term consequences can be a variety, depending on what area was affected most and the duration of time it was deprived,” Milne said. “But they could end up with permanent motor dysfunction, personality changes, loss of memory and a whole spectrum of other types of responses.”

Milne said there haven’t been any reports of children having played the choking game before coming to the Swedish emergency room in Issaquah. However, that information isn’t something children will typically share, he said.

Children swap info online

Children find out about the practice through friends at school, at after-school activities, parties and online at YouTube, said Ken Tork, who lost his 15-year-old son Kevin to the choking game March 30. 

“Of the parents I’ve talked to, most of them have never been to YouTube, because they think it is a site for kids,” he said. “It’s not. That information is on there and they are looking at it. If I would have taken time to educate myself, I might still have my son.”

Choking game deaths usually fall in the undetermined category, because there isn’t enough evidence to determine whether they are a suicide or accident. 

The choking game “is a perfect example of where intent may not be clear,” said Dr. Richard Harruff, King County’s chief medical examiner.

He said he has seen child deaths that have likely been caused by the choking game in the 16 years he’s worked in the office. 

“It’s been pretty clear cut that it was likely,” he said, “or the family has said, ‘Oh, he’s done this before.’”

Statistics hard to pin down

But because the deaths are often undetermined, statistics vary drastically.

The Centers for Disease Control estimates at least 82 children, ages 6-19, have died as a result of the choking game between 1995 and 2007. 

However, the CDC statistics are limited to cases where the deaths of children from the game produced some sort of news media report.

The Dangerous Adolescent Behavior Education Foundation statistics estimate there have been 442 U.S. deaths in 2009. In 2008, there were only 12 deaths recorded by the foundation. 

The rise might be attributed to the self-reporting nature of the issue, and the fact that more people report such deaths as they become educated about the game.

Foundation officials calculate the deaths by tracking media reports and relying on families to report the deaths of children caused by the game, said Kate Leonardi, founder and director of the foundation. 

She founded the organization after her son Dylan Blake, 11, died from playing the choking game in October 2005. 

“It has gotten tagged ‘the good kids game,’” Leonardi said. “But it can happen to any child. White, black, green, purple, 9 years to 21 years, in suburbia, out in the middle of nowhere, in the city — it is everywhere.” 

However, people should be wary of the statistics, said Sue Eastgard, executive director of Youth Suicide Prevention.

There are about 100 youth suicides in the state each year, she said.

“Part of the issue, I think, is that it’s easier somehow for some people to believe that this was an accident, that their child was playing a stupid game,” she said. “It is much harder to talk about suicide, because there is a stigma around it.”

But while some children might commit suicide, Ken Tork said he knows that is not an issue with his son.

“Kids are aware of it,” he said of the choking game. “Parents need to educate themselves and talk to their children.

“You don’t get over the pain. You live with it,” he added. “I lost my son, but if other parents educate themselves, they don’t have to go through what I am.”

Common terms 

The choking game

Pass-out game

Space monkey

Blacking out/blackout

What to know

87 percent of victims are male.

Most that died were between 11 and 16.

Nearly all who died were playing alone.

Deaths have occurred throughout the U.S.

Warning signs

Discussion of the game or its aliases

Bloodshot eyes

Marks on the neck

Wearing high-necked shirts

Disorientation after spending time alone

Increased and uncharacteristic irritability or hostility

Ropes, scarves, belts tied to bedroom furniture, doorknobs or found knotted on the floor

Unexplained presence of dog leashes, choke collars or bungee cords near a child’s room

Pinpoint-sized bleeding spots under the skin of the face, especially on the eyelids or the lining of the eyelids and eyes

Long-term effects

Loss of consciousness

Coma 

Seizures

Death of brain cells due to oxygen deprivation can cause memory loss and lack of coordination

Concussions 

Broken bones, like the jaw, from falls

Hemorrhages of the eye

Learning disabilities

Attention and behavior disorders

Hostility

Source: Centers for Disease Control

Where to get help

Centers for Disease Control: www.cdc.gov/Features/ChokingGame 

For Kevin’s Sake: en.wordpress.com/tag/ken-tork/ 

The Dangerous Adolescent Behavior Education Foundation: chokinggame.net   

Youth Suicide Prevention Program: www.yspp.org or call the crisis line 206-461-3222

Reach Reporter Chantelle Lusebrink at 392-6434, ext. 241, or clusebrink@isspress.com. Comment on this article at www.issaquahpress.com. 

Kevin Tork

Kevin Conroy Tork, of Bellevue, died Tuesday, March 30, 2009, at home. He was 15.A public viewing was held and a funeral Mass said April 3 at St. Louise Catholic Church in Bellevue. A reception and sharing of memories was held afterward in the parish hall. Private interment was at Upper Hillside Cemetery in Issaquah.

Kevin was born May 29, 1993, in Bellevue, to Kenneth and Kathleen Tork. He was raised in Bellevue, where he attended local schools. 

In 2007, Kevin entered Issaquah High School, where he excelled in his studies. His favorite was mathematics.

Kevin was an incredible young man who loved spending time with his friends. He loved 4-wheeling, fishing, camping and exploring. One of his favorite pastimes was befuddling his parents with mathematical equations. He also enjoyed playing basketball in a Bellevue league. He was always quick with a joke or words of encouragement. 

Kevin was someone who always put the needs of others before his own. He touched the lives of everyone he met. 

His friends and family will forever remember his twinkling green eyes and bright smile that lit up his face. He was a wonderful son, loving brother, abiding grandson and loyal friend. Kevin will be deeply missed by everyone that knew him. He was truly an exceptional young man. 

Survivors include his loving parents, Ken and Kathy Tork, of Bellevue; sister Kelly; grandparents Barbara Tork, Johnnie and Kay Tork, and Jim and Patti Conroy; and numerous extended family members and friends.

If you wish to make a private donation to the family in memory of Kevin, do so at any Bank of America Branch, in care of the Kevin C. Tork Memorial Fund. The family also suggests remembrances to the Bellevue Medic One Foundation.

Arrangements were entrusted to Flintoft’s Funeral Home and Crematory.

Friends are encouraged to view photos and share memories in the family’s online guest book at www.flintofts.com.

Bellevue Police responded to the call, however, the case is still under investigation, said Officer Greg Grannis, the department’s public information officer.

The cause and manner of death is pending, according to information from the King County Medical Examiner’s Office.

Principal Paula Phelps and school counselors went to each classroom at the high school and notified students and teachers of the death. 

The additional school counselors remained on campus throughout the day to assist students and employees with the news.

Tork’s death comes just weeks after Issaquah High School junior Nicholas Bethel died in Seattle March 3. 

The cause and manner of Bethel’s death are still pending, as the toxicology report has not come back yet, according to the Medical Examiner’s Office. Results from those tests can take up to 10 weeks.

Parents should be aware of changes in their student’s physical and emotional behaviors in coming days and weeks as they process the loss. Changes in behavior can include, sadness, anger, irritability, anxiety, loneliness, numbness, indifference, detachment, listlessness, headaches, stomachaches, nausea and changes in appetite, according to school information. 

Students and parents can call the high school’s counseling center at 837-6140 for guidance or additional information.

School counselors reported to Issaquah High School Tuesday after school officials were notified that Kevin Conroy Tork, a 15-year-old sophomore, had died in Seattle.

Bellevue Police responded to the call, but the case is still under investigation, said Greg Grannis, the department’s public information officer.

The cause and manner of death is pending, according to the King County Medical Examiner’s Office.

Principal Paula Phelps and school counselors went to each classroom and notified students and teachers of the death.

The additional school counselors remained on campus throughout the day to assist students and employees with the news.

The student’s death comes just weeks after Issaquah High School junior Nicholas Bethel died in Seattle on March 3.

The cause and manner of Bethel’s death are still pending, as the toxicology report has not come back yet, according to the Medical Examiner’s Office. Results from those tests could take up to 10 weeks.

Parents should be aware of changes in their student’s physical and emotional behaviors in coming days and weeks. Changes in behavior can include, sadness, anger, irritability, anxiety, loneliness, numbness, indifference, detachment, listlessness, headaches, stomachaches, nausea, and appetite, according to school information.

Students and parents can call the high school’s counseling center at 837-6140 for guidance or additional information.

——-

Memorial

St. Louise Catholic Church

2-3 p.m. viewing

4 p.m. Mass, with reception to follow

141 156^th Ave. S.E., Bellevue